FHA The battle of today's menu (EN)

“―――What the?” As I open the refrigerator to prepare something for lunch, I find it packed full of items I don't remember buying. No one went shopping today, so... I wonder who's responsible? “Shirou, Taiga asked me to tell you. "Here's some tasty-looking stuff, the rest is up to you," she said.” “Hahaha. ―――Well, that's what I thought.” As expected, the perpetrator was Fuji-nee. That joke of a mystery had been solved in less than ten seconds. ...Well then. With this many ingredients, I could make a whole variety of stuff. What should I do...? “Hey, do you two have any requests for lunch?” “Nothing in particular. Whatever you make is fine, Shirou.” ...Hmm, hmmm. Saber is fine with anything. I make a mental note. “How about you, Rider?” Rider, who won this morning's channel battle, is watching the national news. “I do not have any particular requests either.” “Mmph.” That was only half expected of Rider. Same reply. Well, I guess I have no choice but to decide myself... “Rider, I've been meaning to ask you... Do you have any food that you like?” “What do you mean by that?” “Ah, it's just that you always eat without saying a word. So I'm thinking maybe you arduously eat things that you don't even like from time to time.” Fuji-nee or Illya would say it outright if they didn't like a particular item. Moreover, they wouldn't even touch it. Sakura and Tohsaka would advise me as fellow chefs, and Saber... That goes without saying. But I have yet to hear a single thing regarding food from Rider. “Shirou, if you have something to say to me, please state it clearly.” “It's... nothing like that. See, it's just that you so happily eat up the things you like right up, I have an easier time with the menu.” “W-What are you saying, Shirou? That almost makes it sound as if I lack composure during meals.” “Do you really consider yourself calm when eating?” “O-Of course! ...How rude. How do I appear to you then?” “――――――” Rider exercises her right to keep silent. I am so glad. I am so glad that she's an adult. “Ah, so... Back to the matter of taste. Have you ever eaten anything that you didn't particularly like, Rider?” “No, not really. Did I perhaps worry you all this time?” “A little. Saber is very frank, so it makes it easier for me to know, but...” “Shirooou. Are you taking sides with Rider!?” “I'm happy when you tell me frankly. It really helps when I'm making something. And on top of that, Saber is well-mannered when she eats.” "Hmm-hmm," Saber nods with satisfaction. Saber, no matter how much of a hurry she is in, will not rush her chopsticks. “So you are saying that it is easier to make meals once you know my taste. ...I can understand that, but I am, like Saber, satisfied with whatever Sakura or you make. So, you should not overly concern yourself about it.” Mmmh... I'm glad she feels that way, but we're not making any progress. “Alright, then let's change tactics. Rider, do you have anything that you just won't eat?” “―――If you put it that way...” “Let me see... Though I do not think the two of you would be cooking one in the first place...” “Oh, so there is something?” “Yes. I do not believe it is particularly common in this country, but―――snakes...” ...I see. Considering Rider's identity, I doubt she'll want to eat snakes. And considering her class and Noble Phantasm, I can guess another item she would not like to eat. “Rider, horses also would be bad, right?” “Yes. It is not that I dislike it, but...” “Alright. Snakes are rare, and I'll try to refrain from horses.” “Shirou, then would it not be prudent to send back the snake wine Taiga brought a few days ago?” “Snake wine... Wait, Fuji-nee, what the heck? She really brought that?” Saber nods once, comes into the kitchen and opens the cabinet under the sink. And in there, unknown to me, someone had left a bottle of wine with a whole snake inside. “She happily showed it to Sakura and me. Neither of us got scared, so she lost interest and just stuck it in here, as far as I remember.” “...Good that you remembered. Saber, you fine with both of those?” I ask as I shove the bottle of wine with what looks to be a pit viper inside of it further back. “Yes, I am not opposed to eating either. ...But I would not think of eating them in front of someone who is.” “I know. Henceforth, snakes and horses are banned in this house.” Saber and Rider simply don't fit each other by nature. But they have a very caring mutual friendship. “Alright. I think I got the idea. Rider, could you come here for a second?” I motion toward Rider. Unsurprisingly, it's getting cramped with all three of us here, but Saber shows no intention of going back to the living room. “Please choose something you want to eat for lunch from here.” I open the refrigerator. “You are asking me to choose the ingredients for lunch?” “Yeah, go ahead and pick what you like, it's all fine.” “Is that so? Then―――” She looks into the refrigerator intently. And Saber watches us from the back. “...Shirou, you are certainly very kind to Rider.” “Huh?” Perhaps she is irritated by the fact that I'm asking for Rider's opinion instead of hers? “What are you talking about, Saber? It's easier for me when I know what all of you like and dislike. Besides, I've asked you many times before.” “That... is true.” “Shirou, what would this be?” Turning to check what she's asking about, I see Rider pointing to a styrofoam package in the corner of the fridge. The label on top says, "Perishable. Store refrigerated." I'm guessing it's some sort of fish. “What's inside... An octopus?” “Looks like it.” “――――――” I try to take it out, but its suckers seem to have stuck to the lid inside, and won't come off easily. “Sure is a lively one.” “How about this for lunch? I would think it is best to eat it while still fresh.” No doubt, stuff like this is great when eaten the same day it is caught. “You're right. Hm, what should I make―――huh? What are you doing that far away, Saber?” For some reason, Saber was looking on from the corner of the kitchen. “Shirou, are we really eating that?” “Yeah, I was thinking about it, but... does it bother you?” “No, just―――” Saber is definitely acting strange. The longer I think what the possible reason could be, the stronger grows my conviction that the thing clinging to my hand is the cause. “―――Could it be... that octopuses scare you?” Right on the mark, it seems. “Eh, you've gotta be kidding me. You've been eating takoyaki without a problem.” She ate it all without a complaint when I brought them as thanks for watching over the house. ...Even Sakura's portion, despite the "I want some too" look from her. “T-That cannot be... The things inside were... those sleek yet rough things were the netherworld's demon fish!?” “Sleek yet rough...?” Well, I suppose you could say that... but no need to hate them so much... “What is the meaning of this?―――Shirou, the one you speak of...” Trembling all over, she glares at me with a dreadful stare. Is she really that mad? “Wait, Saber. Are octopuses really a no-go? You've been eating them without a problem until now.” “D-Don't tell me... I never thought that this "octopus" you speak of is... the demonic fish itself! ...What is this... The netherworld's evil god that wouldn't die no matter how much I cut it... was what I tasted back then...!?” "Netherworld's evil god" is taking it a bit too far. “What should we do, Shirou? Saber does not seem to like it.” “Yeah...” Maybe it revived when we took it out of the refrigerator. The now-live octopus starts wrapping itself around my hand. “R-Rider, you too! How could you eat such things!?” "Are not we both from around the same lands," is what her eyes are saying. “I can eat all seafood without reservation. On my part, I just cannot believe you like natto or umeboshi.” "You've been born in almost the same lands, yet you sure can eat that stuff up," is what the hidden message is this time. ...Wait a moment, there's something Rider does hate after all. I hear foreigners are notorious for being unable to ever get used to natto and umeboshi. Sounds like Rider is no exception. “―――Hmm. I was indeed surprised at first, but compared to the cheese or dried meat consumed during a march, they are nothing.” Ah, I suppose that's the reason why she can stand anything fermented. And as I'm admiring her resilience, I peel the octopus off my hand and place it on the cutting board. Rider and Saber are too busy arguing to notice what I'm doing. “Now that you have brought it up, you put too much olive oil on things, do you not? It destroys the fragrant essence of food.” Ah... That's true, Rider sure uses olive oil a lot. “Eating is one's own free right. We are originally Servants. It is not right to fuss over a meal that is unnecessary to begin with. Saber, your behavior is sometimes shameful in my eyes.” “Oh? And dressing oneself as a store clerk out of the desire to own a bicycle or a motorbike is not shameful for a Servant, then?” ...!? Ack! Somehow, a precarious situation has developed while I was focusing on food! Danger, Will Robinson! If I let this go on, the existence of our beloved house, if not the entire neighborhood, is in question...! “Senpai, I'll help with the lunch preparations.” “Sakura―――! Whew, great timing! I-I'm fine, but could you please go placate those two?” “Huh... Right. ―――Really, Rider. What are you still arguing with Saber-san about? ...You're not planning on breaking the table over some small quarrel again, are you...?” “S-Sakura...!? N-No... It is nothing serious. Right, Saber? We were just having a friendly discussion about our opinions on various food items―――” “Y-Yes, it is just as Rider says! We were just wondering if we should challenge our senses with some traditional Japanese dried seafood sometime.” I can hear the excuses. “...Well, this should teach them a lesson.” I silently thank Sakura as she's scolding the two of them, and concentrate back on the ingredient lying on the cutting board. Of course, this would be one-sided, so I better prepare some natto and umeboshi as well. ―――Well then. As a symbol of our reconciliation, why don't we all try something to conquer our respective weaknesses―――?