FHA Iris' storehouse (EN)

In our yard, we have a storehouse and a dojo. Maybe it's been there even before Kiritsugu, or maybe he built it himself after taking over the place. Either way, you could say his hobbies were a little eccentric. “...The dojo's a dojo, but the storage looks like... a brewery or a pawn shop or something.” “Bre-we-ry? Pon-shop?” “Hm?” As I turn my head towards the owner of that voice, I see Illya tilting her head with curiosity in her eyes. “Ah, so a pawnshop is Pfandhaus.” “Yeah. I have nothing to do with one though. But I hear there are some high-class ones in the shopping district back alleys.” “I know. Like the one Miss Tohsaka frequents. Or so the lady at the fish market tells me.” “What...?” Tohsaka is going around to pawn shops? Could it be that she actually has to pinch every penny and pawn off her precious heirlooms just to sustain her daily――― “Oh no, it's not that, Shirou. Rin's probably going after jewelry. They may be out of fashion, but old gems that have been "released" by their former owners may well have their own practical magical uses.” “Mmm... Like a curse"Ushi no Koku Mairi" ritual at 2 am and stuff...?” “I'll leave it up to your imagination. Though wouldn't something belonging to a lady that died an unnatural death would be best for that?” ...That's scary. But I see. I did wonder just where was she stocking up on all those gems from time to time, but I never thought she'd even use pawn shops... I have a fear that even I'll be pawned off before long... “Hey, Shirou. What's a "brewery?"” “Huh? Aaah, a place that brews sake and the like. An alcohol manufacturer.” “I see, a Weinkellerei or a Brennerei. They make rice alcohol in this country, right?” I guess she's talking about Japanese sake. "Rice alcohol"... makes me think of something like rice wine, grains of rice soaked in shochu or whatnot. “It's not all distilled sake, there's stuff like shochu, too.” “Hmmm... As I thought, that's what cellars and storehouses are used for.” Unusually impressed, Illya keeps nodding her head. ...Well, she does own a castle, so maybe the Einzberns... “Say... Do you have one in your castle, too? A wine cellar or a brewery?” “Eh? The castle here? Or the castle far away?” This or that castle?―――Aah, really, she speaks like the heiress of a true aristocrat. “This castle is a vacation home, so there's just a Weinkeller―――a wine cellar, that is. Although we never use it.” “So there's one in your country?” “The weather's not good for making wine over there... But we did have a distillery.” “Oh? So you made things like your own whiskey?” “Eau-de-vie? That's right―――I guess? We have to make our own magic ingredients, and there's never enough alcohol.” “I see. So it's actually for more of an academic purpose.” I guess they use alcohol to preserve samples, or maybe to make chemicals or something. “Your storehouse isn't really alcohol-related either, is it?” “Yeah, I don't drink, although I can make some. It's just a storage room.” “It's also your workshop, isn't it?―――” “*gulp*―――” The sudden change in the way of address surprises me. And that smiling face... I know I'll be unable to say "no" no matter how naughty the request is. “Can I go inside Onii-chan's storehouse?” “......Sure. There's nothing interesting there though.” “Hehehe, it's okay, it's okay. I always wanted to have a peek at your workshop.” “Go ahead. It's a bit dusty, but...” “Yaay! Thanks, Shirou!” Seeing her so full of joy makes me happy as well. Although it isn't much, I'm glad my little workshop has pleased her. “Wow!” She jumps inside. Her gaze stops on the heaping pile of junk in front of her. “Did you collect all these, Shirou?” “Half by me, half by Fuji-nee, I guess. All the useless stuff is entirely by Fuji-nee though. Every time I look away, there's more of it.” “Considering it's Taiga, I'm not surprised. Nope, not at all.” She dives into the mountain of junk. I'm worried about the dust getting on her clothes. “Illya, if you're going to go exploring, I have some work gloves.” “It's okay... Oooh, what's this, Shirou?” "Hiya," out comes a round object. “That's a shichirin... Why would Fuji-nee...?” “Shi-chi-rin? Kind of a stove, right?” “Yeah. You put some coal inside, cover it with a metal screen and use it for cooking... Not that I have any coal though.” She probably meant to grill some cuttlefish on it. Well... It's not broken, so we could use it now. And it is fall, but I would rather have some mackerel instead of cuttlefish. “Hmm... Wowow, there's a lot of stuff!” She puts down the stove, and resumes her exploration. ...A hot-water bottle, kotatsu heater, vacuum cleaner nozzle... Even I am impressed by the variety. “Are you going to repair and use all these?” “Not really... But I do want to reuse them as much as I can.” “Oh...? But even then.” “So this is your workshop... Right?” She spins and looks around. Her face shows a complex expression of dissatisfaction, but at the same time, she also seems unusually impressed. “...Just what is that, this feeling... Not at all similar, yet so close... Could this be...” “Illya...? Is there something odd here?” “...I'm not sure, but... Say, did something happen here? Like some sort of grand magic in the past.” “...? No, I did practice strengthening, but I haven't used anything big. Although... Yeah, this is where Saber came out, isn't it?” “Ah, so it's Saber's summoning spot. ......I see. It certainly looks suitable for Saber. I wonder if the summoning circle had been engraved before the storehouse was built, or if he just chose a spot away from public view... Well, only the previous summoner would ever know.” “...?” Illya almost sighs as she mutters all that in a low voice. “Well, who cares about the past. As for the grade... Hm, I'd give it about a 10. It's fun in a way, but you must take care of your workroom. Or it will really become a place you just shove your stuff into.” “Ugh, I'm ashamed to admit it, but... it's become a habit for me to think that a storage and practice room are the same.” “Oh, that's just like you, Shirou... Perhaps it's time I helped you out.” “―――You mean, to renovate it?” “Yeah. You'd have to move a lot of stuff, but you can make it into something like my room in no time at all.” So she says, full of confidence. But... Like her room? You mean... Illya's room? “We'll get Sella and Liz to clean it up and change the interior. Right, about three days should do it...” “Wait. If you'll really make it look like your castle, I'll never be able to concentrate here.” To have a Western-style room just in the storehouse of this purely Japanese residence would be nothing more than a joke. Opening the door to find the storehouse interior lined with carpet, er――― “Of course, those things will be taken into consideration. Anyway!” “Right.” I instinctively lower my head as a reaction to Illya's sudden didactic tone. “If you actually want to get anywhere, then you must first straighten out that attitude. The workshop is the basis of a magus.” “I am truly ashamed of myself, ma'am―――” “This and that. It's all Rin's fault―――Really, it's all Tohsaka's "laissez-faire" policy, she regards independence too highly.” Illya is mad at Tohsaka's negligence. Although Tohsaka certainly is my current teacher... “No, I think that's unrelated to...” “No way. If the teacher doesn't keep an eye on the student's workshop, she'll never know what kind of trouble he could be getting into―――Hmmm.” ...I have a bad feeling about this. “Right. I must take care of you, there's no other way. I can't entrust Onii-chan to the likes of Rin.” A complacent smile. Or maybe a smirk. Or maybe an eternal devil's grin. A pair of crimson eyes slowly closes in. ...A strong musky scent permeates the dark storehouse――― A mirage slowly takes hold over my brain. ...I feel like a moth fixated on a light. I can move any part of my body, yet it feels as if I'd ruin something big if I move even a finger――― “Hehehe... Hey, Shirou? I will definitely make sure to raise you well.” “Wa... Illya, calm down, that's...” “Onii-chan, it's you who needs to calm down and think. Here...” Her eyes and lips move closer to mine―――. Her little body sitting on my lap feels light as a feather. “Shirou... Do you not like me, Onii-chan?” “That's not it―――but...” “If you like me, I will make you my most precious possession. You'll think of no one else, not even Saber. I'll make you into my finest dessert―――” “Ah―――” ―――Suddenly, the fog in my mind clears. Fool me once... The miserable experience from the first time now lets me turn the tables on her. “...Heh, you're too naive, Illya. Even I won't fall for the same trick twice.” “Hey, Shirou―――Wait, what?” My free will that had been trapped in those red eyes returns. “Back at you. Will you be mine if you like me?” “Eh, eeeh...!?” “―――Alright, now's my chance!” I hug Illya tightly. “Y-Y-You idiot! What are you doing, Shirou!?” “What do you mean "what"? This one little troublemaker lady, playing with people like a kitten with toys, I thought she could use a lesson or two.” “I-I'm not a troublemaker! And I'm no cat, either! A-And don't carry a lady on your shoulder, you!” She hits my back a few times, but I don't care. Although the thought of surrendering to her truly did cross my mind once, I realize that Illya's still a child. “Yeah, a decade too early.” “That's too late! And in ten years, you'll be begging to become mine!” “Haha, yeah. Things might get ugly if you try the same thing again.” “Y-You just watch! Forget Rin, I'll be so plump and full that even Sakura will be no match for me!” “...Hm. Sounds kind of sad.” I wish she would become a well-mannered lady... Wait, what the hell am I saying...!? “Let me go! Put me down! Shirou! Idiot!” “Hahaha, your compliments are much appreciated. Alright. Let's go drink some tea. I have some dorayaki from Edomaeya too.” “Eh? Really? ―――Oh no, you won't get away with just that! Shirou, you idiot! Idiot, idiot, idiot!”