FHA Saber lately (EN)

“Alright, Saber. I'll step outside for a mo―――” “Right. I will not take long to finish changing, so would you please wait here, Shirou?” “Eh... Right here!?” “Yes. I will be done soon enough. If you were to leave, I have a feeling you will somehow find an excuse to avoid this―――” “I-It's nothing like that.” “Thank you.” ...But despite her assurances, here she is, squirming about and clearly having trouble with her clothes. The atmosphere is definitely not Saber-like. “...S-Shirou...!” “W-What?” “The ribbon got undone... Where do you think this could have been tied at?” “Ribb...!? I don't know!” “If I could ask you to check instead...” “No way!” “Kuh, that's it! Just put something on already―――Ah, th-that's right!” “Saber, get your armor out.” “Eh... Why? There are no enemies to be seen here.” “Throw something on already―――” “...Would this be acceptable?” “――――――, yeah... that works.” The tension gone all at once, I plunk down on the floor. “...Shirou.” “Hm?” “After all, this battle uniform does suit me, right?” “Pardon me?” “Yes, this is how I have been from the start. Swimsuits and the likes of such splendid ornaments are...” “W-Wait!” “No, there is no need for consolation. Seeing your troubled self and the relief it brought just a moment ago, there can only be one conclusion.” “It's just a misunderstanding, a naked figure is enough to throw anyone into a panic!” “Is that so? My own naked body―――” Just how does she see herself? Frankly, I have no clue. Damn, how am I supposed to make her understand? “La la, ooh yeah, the big brother's watching us, the big brother can hear us.” ...What's up with the creepy humming? Wait, the only one that could be singing this――― “Indeed, it is Taiga, heading towards this room.” “―――, wha...?” “We're all big brother's sons, that's why we love our brother, but we ran away, betrayed the love, and here comes a car on a pitch-black night.” “S-S-Saber! Your armor!” “Right... Oh no, I cannot let her see this!” “We all land in prison, gray walls all around, we're all humans, not some big brother's children, yet.” “Saber, hide in here!” I push her inside the closet. “―――Shirou!?” “Oooh-no, oooh-no, little mouse, little mouse, stop it, little mouse! Oooh-no! Little mouse! Saber-chan, you in here!?” “...Eh? Shirou?” “Yo. If you're looking for Saber, she's not here.” The tension almost turns my voice inside out. “Oh, is that so? I was just going to ask her about today's shopping～ You seemed to think we were starting a restaurant tour journal, though.” “I see. I guess stuff like that is okay once in a while?” “Oh. You are suddenly so understanding, great. I leave you for 30 minutes and you've grown up already, good boy～♪” “Yeah. I left the male viewpoint behind for a moment and saw it through the eyes of the other gender. And that's why you should go back to the living room, Fuji-nee.” “Ahaha, now that you've told me, go back I shall. But why are you in Saber-chan's room, anyway?” ...Ugh, I guess my trick didn't work out. Knowing Fuji-nee, I thought it actually could...! “Oh, well, I just brought tea for Saber. I wonder where she went, seriously... Oh, that's right, maybe you can try the dojo?” “Oooh, chocolate snacks too～...?” ...She ain't listening. No, wait. This may be a blessing in disguise. These prized chocolate truffles, a rare and unique Noble Phantasm, will be more than enough to distract her...! “―――Yeah. Let's have some tea, Fuji-nee. If we go out on the veranda, I'm sure she'll be lured out by the chocolate in no time.” “――――――......” Fuji-nee is staring at the back of the room with suspicion. Following her line of sight――― A tray on top of the table, an opened paper bag left on the floor, and, finally, Saber's regular clothes, methodically folded away in the corner of the room. “!!!!!!!!!!!” “......Shirou?” A piece of fatally incriminating evidence has been left behind. ...This would be a good time to get anemia, go pale and faint... “Onee-chan thinks those clothes look an awful lot like the ones that Saber-chan was wearing earlier.” “H-Hmm. She must have several sets of her favorite hand-me-down from Tohsaka―――” “Hmm, still warm, she must have just taken them off. Why would Saber-chan be changing, I wonder?” “F-For a bath, maybe?” “Did she run naked from here?” “Um, well...” “I bet she's still in this room.” “............” “Shiiiiirooooouuuuu!!!” “Y-You're annoying the neighbors, Fuji-nee!” “Shaddup! Our neighbors are all good people, they won't complain, no matter how much noise we make! Whether we start a kitchen utensil band, or launch fireworks!” Wonderful. A level of indifference worthy of an average city dweller. “Yeah right, with all the strange noise you keep making, they probably just gave up!” “Diverting the subject is futile! Let us go and discover the scene of this inappropriate conduct! Surrender yourself!” “All I did was bring the tea, it's all a misunderstanding!” “Miss Under, Miss Over, who cares!!! You undress Saber-chan, scheming bad things, but then me, a bearer of justice, appears on the stage! "Oh no, this guy's top class," you think, and hide Saber-chan in the closet, but you're seen through in 1 minute 20 seconds flat...!” You got it all wrong! Totally wrong, except for the closet! And just say it was 80 seconds already! “So, how about a little inspection? Kekeke. I hope you are ready, Shirou.” “............” Ready for what, I wonder? Ugh, I wish I could just disappear... “It's alright, Saber-chan!” A regular Servant would be able to dematerialize. But since Saber has no spirit form――― “―――――――Huh?” Yeah, I'm already done fo... ―――So it comes to this. “Pardon me, it seems I had dozed off. Did something happen, Taiga?” “That voice... It's got to be Saber-chan.” “So why are you in the closet and with a raincoat on?” “Hm... I simply happen to be in the mood for it, occasionally.” What kind of mood? “S... So that's where you were, Saber. And I didn't even notice, ahahaha.” “Eheheh, I see.” “Righty, being too shy to show herself to Shirou, she hid in the closet instead, the super-maiden!” “Huh...?” “But, you know, this is the kind of pure innocence I admire.” “W-What are you saying, Fuji-nee?” “And that's where you come in, Shirou! Now that your Onee-chan approves, it may even get lovey-dovey―――Come, Saber-chan, it's time!” “I refuse.” “Oh you, Saber-chan.” “Onee-chan might have to resort to using force, you know?” “―――Please stop. You ought to realize that you are still no match for me, Taiga.” "What do I do now?" her eyes are asking me. “..................” It's a tough choice. However, we cannot allow Fuji-nee to see Saber's true form. For Fuji-nee's own sake, if anything. "Do it," I signal to her. “TooooOOOOH!” Full of fighting spirit, Fuji-nee comes charging at Saber! “Please forgive me, Taiga.” The two of them circle around the overcrowded room. The skill advantage is overwhelmingly on Saber's side, but... “Hehehe, don't take me lightly, Saber-chan! Take that! Fuji-ryuu Secret Technique!” “Um, Secret Truffle Throw!” A black projectile flies through the air. Is that a chocolate truffle I brought with tea―――!? “――――――!” Her extremely sharp dynamic vision became her downfall. Instinctively, Saber follows the path of the flying chocolate. “A chance! Toooooryaaaaaa!” “Ah―――――――――!” ...It's over. “Huh?” “Who do you think you are, wasting food like that, Taiga!” Hurry up and notice it already, Saber. So, how do we explain the armor to her now?―――Well, I have no clue. “Oh, so that's what you had on, Saber-chan.” “What would you mean by "that"―――!!......?” “...Um, Fuji-nee. That's, uh...” “Ehe, with an outfit like that, it must have been so embarrassing to show yourself to Shirou. I see, I see.” ...............??? “Fuji-nee... Aren't you surprised at all?” “Why would I be?” “Well... You know, the armor she's wearing? The plate mail stuff?” “Right, awesome cosplay.” “Cos-play...?” “Ah...” “They show those on the news sometimes. So this must be a really fashionable one, that's what I thought anyway.” Living in a peaceful country, one peaceful inhabitant's peaceful way of thinking. Peace is a wonderful thing. “Th... That is exactly right! This is cosplay! C-C-Came out great, right?” “Really, and that's actual steel, isn't it?” “T-That's the main attraction!” “I didn't know we had such skilled craftsmen in this town.” “I made it myself! In the storehouse!” “Yeah, I can see you having the skill and the willpower for it.” “It was tough, many times I almost gave up.” “That's great. As your guardian, Onee-chan is happy for you. By the way, what motivated you?” “Um, well... I got a request for the cultural festival.” “Now that's definitely a lie.” ““―――――――――!?”” “See, Saber-chan had those from way back when.” ...What? “When did I ever appear in front of you in this form...?” “Watching a history drama at lunch, playing a game. So when Saber-chan gets riled up, those are her special go-to clothes, basically.” ...Um, what can I say. Whenever Saber really gets into it, she unconsciously transforms... “Well, they do suit you, actually. But shouldn't a girl look cute, after all? I bought you a bathing suit, even.” “―――Right.” “You too, Shirou. Make sure to escort her. Saber-chan will be in trouble if you're too shy, you know?” “......Okay.” She scolds the two of us lightheartedly. For now, the worst is behind us, the misunderstanding has been cleared... Plastered over with a misunderstanding that's even more strange than the first. “Alright then. Having that rare win against Saber-chan today, I feel great. Oh, and Shirou, I'll have some tea and chocolate.” “......Yeah.” Looking to be in high spirits, Fuji-nee seizes one of the teacups. I can do nothing but watch silently, even as she takes off with a large portion of the truffles. “Cosplay, huh...? Guess it's popular even in this house...” “............” “Sakura-chan wears black pajamas with red stripes, and even Rider-san has a sexy purple outfit. Maybe I should get one of those～. But what would be good～? I guess a mask would work...” “...Shirou.” “Aah... Think of it as a new hobby, I guess. Can't be helped.” “Right, I will watch out from now on...” “No need to get so depressed over it. Oh, right, about that bathing suit.” “Yes?” “There should be a better place to show it off. How about we go to the pool in Shinto sometime?” “.....................” Quite out of character. Scratching my cheek, I force it out. “Um, I mean... I heard a new pool opened in Shinto, so...” A brief pause. Taking a quick breath, “Yes, I will gladly accompany you.” Just like that, a pool date promise has been made.